Burnt (Scars)

My skin is my own,

Part of my story,

A home for my tears.

Keeper of my pain,

Scars that I won't forget,

Even when they fade.

Lingering deeper than my shade,

Maybe I shouldn't have used toothpaste on that pimple...

Or prevented that cut.

When others have left,

It's still here--

To remind me of by beauty.

Everlasting and defiant,

Seen past these scars,

Making them it's own.

Slaying the negative connotation,

Just buds in my garden.

My tone adds to my mystery,

Curiosity is eager to explore my depths,

It's part of my charm.

Shoe Laces

I want to be happy without complications,
Exhausted from waiting for the other shoe to drop,
The constant sound of disappointment.

When did the dynamics change --
In your favor,
Instead of ours?

Is this the price of walking away?
Relive your sins,
No escape.

Maybe in another life,
I won't leave for less,
I just assumed I learned my lesson.

I call it toward me
Hopefully it will show me how?

Been cold for so long
My heart feels like winter
Below zero -- Emotional freeze.

I wonder if I'm worth it?

Worthy of it's wisdom,
The trials and the years...

I know it starts with me,
But where do I begin?

I got it honest

I know you better than you'd care to admit
Your Virtues-
Your Vice.

I see your truths,
And read through your lies,
You will always be my favorite book.

My 3rd is love,
And it's far from blind,
I see you for you.

Not much is hidden between us,
And no matter how many times you blow smoke...
I can see the flames clearly.

Only 1 of us is the Fool,
And that is the one--
Who is playing.

I never claimed to be perfect,
But I am the most honest,
No allegory in my words.

Only 1 of us is the Fool,
And that is the one--
Who is playing,
I know you better than you'd care to admit.

Fading Fragrance

Everytime I ask for
Soothing and understanding
I am greeted by your ignorance.

Out of sight;
Out of time
The minutes allude you.

A lady in waiting
Grows Impatient
Waiting on the truth.

Is it all in vain?
Or can a stubborn tree bear fruit?

Far from Eden
This love is paradise lost.

1 of many letters from Me to you

Hi everyone! Idk how many readers I actually have on here. This site is more for me anyway, but if there are ppl who read this you guys are thoughtful. Anywhoo. I wanted to write on here b/c I find that I have let this page suffer. I use to have another blogger but I took it down b/c i was pretty much being stalked. So I was kinda discreet with this new one. I don't think I was every able to delete the old one but I kept it moving to this one.

I wanted to do something different with this blog. I already have one where I am candid, but i wanted to be the same way to a degree with this one. I remember ppl liked reading my poems b/c they could relate to some of the things i wrote about. Also it was another way for me to express myself. I still don't know what direction I want to take this blog, but I think I want to be as real as I can through my poetry and music that I enjoy and love to share. Oh and the occassional  journal entry from time to time.

Due to some events that have happened in my life (That i am trying to move on from), I have noticed that I have been bottling up my emotions. I've always been a gaurded person but now i have extra armor. However that effects my writing. If I can't tap into my feelings I can't write. So I have decided I am going to face them and write them down. Wish me luck b/c this won't be easy.

                                                                                                                Take Care,
                                                                                                                                -SmilingAmythest

Just a taste

What if I wore this perfume for him?
Would I be the bad guy,
If I dressed cute just for him.

Living only for the sake of me
Putting on the back-burner--
My monogamy.

Would you love me, just the same?
My darling that's how we got here.

If I settled for being a black ops widow
Because i got the attention from another
Would you be happy?

Would that make things easier?

If I dressed up horny men as friends,
And told you old flames were harmless
Would you still let me play in the smoke?

If your feelings were to hurt,
Would you take back every lie that you spoke?

If your feelings were to hurt,
Would you continue  to take me a joke?

Or play the victim who didn't see it coming.

My warnings fell on your deaf ears
I kept begging for you to listen
But now I'm silent!

Now you want me to talk

Tell you how I feel
But there are no words
Because to you they never existed.

You should have heard me the 1st TIME
Maybe then you wouldn't be wishing
That you could go back...