New years poem

Bad memories won't haunt me
The bitter taste no longer lingers
The change that comes with time.

Past lovers hold no meaning
Goodbye to those feelings
My heart is new.

Rivals bicker alone
Conflicts are laid to rest
We have come to terms.

Another year wiser
I'm still learning
Eager for my lesson.

I can feel it...
Something good is waiting for me
Here i come.

I unpack my bag,
And leave the old in the past
I can't take it with me.

Change greets me
I say hello
Shall we do this all again?

I promise the experience won't be the same
The journey will be worth taking
I'll be another year wiser.

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HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Uh oh! Got me a bottle! ROFL

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The Player

I heard him call me by my name
He said we met once before,
But the glamour in his eyes were lies
The glamour in his eyes were lies.

He reached for my touch
I pulled away...
My road is less travled
I don't desire your footsteps.

A voice so sweet
With a sour after-taste
Hidden agendas have no home
A nomad til the end, you are.

Lies paved on a gold plated road
I see the scratches on your surface
Are you sure we've met before?
Maybe I know you by another name?

Our meeting was chanced,
But I won't humor your intentions
You're looking for a fool
It's not me.

That Man

You speak so highly of him
I am eager to see him
The man you see in the mirror.

He does all he sets out to do
A true gentleman
Running for that door.

Open it,
And take me to him
You said such promising things.

Mature...goal oreiented
responsible, and patient.
The Virtues of a good man.

The potential you keep to urself
Embrace him,
And become him.

You speak so highly of him
I am eager to see him
The man you see in the mirror.

Late night blogging

5am and i am awake. I was having some weird dreams about ghost. Maybe becuz i kept waking up in btwn animes on cartoon network.

Yesterday i had fun xmas shopping. I am pumped to do secret santa on monday! 5 days of gifts! Omg its gonna be so much fun. I wonder who my secret santa is?

Anywhoo underworld evolution is on and i think i have honestly only seen this movie once. So i guess this will help me pass the time until i sleep.

I was invited to 2 holiday functions but i won't be going. I haven't been talking to my sister since the incident, and i choose not to be around her. Even if the drama is over. I was hurt by what she said so there is nothing more to say btwn me and her.

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i find myself sitting here thinking about my father. I don't know why and I don't care to find out.  It's gonna be a year since i last talked to him. I stopped calling after I saw how that half of my family really didn't care for me. So I left it alone after that. He would call me but then he stopped once I started to tell him about himself and his family.

He's not worth my time and yet I sit here and ponder. Maybe he's ill or something. Maybe I should call him and say hello. oh well.....

Homophobia and Family

So recently due to my sisters fear and homophobia, i am not allowed to be around my nephew. She said he repeated something i said. That i am influencing him to be gay. But he's a child and he is gonna copy everyone. He doesn't understand the sttigma of his actions.

It's sad becuz the situation could have went down differently and more mature, but now we don't talk and i don't feel like she loves me becuz she doesn't accept who i am. We both said some equally hurtful things, and idk about her...but i learned a lot more about her. You can't be pro-gay and homophobic at the same time. U gotta pick a side. Now i kno where she stands.

We could have talked about this because homosexuality is not a learned experience. And she should wait for him to tell her who he is instead of ultimately making him insecure becuz she is afraid of what he could become,but she is not certain of.

What's f*cked about this too is that she feels i should still babysit and do things for her! How does that work?

I decided that i would respect her wishes and i would stay away from her and him. And my boo has to keep his distance as well. And i wipe my hands of her. I am over the drama. I have lost all respect and love for her behind this crap. I guess this is what it will be...

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Homophobia and Family

So recently due to my sisters fear and homophobia, i am not allowed to be around my nephew. She said he repeated something i said. That i am influencing him to be gay. But he's a child and he is gonna copy everyone. He doesn't understand the sttigma of his actions.

It's sad becuz the situation could have went down differently and more mature, but now we don't talk and i don't feel like she loves me becuz she doesn't accept who i am. We both said some equally hurtful things, and idk about her...but i learned a lot more about her. You can't be pro-gay and homophobic at the same time. U gotta pick a side. Now i kno where she stands.

We could have talked about this because homosexuality is not a learned experience. And she should wait for him to tell her who he is instead of ultimately making him insecure becuz she is afraid of what he could become,but she is not certain of.

What's f*cked about this too is that she feels i should still babysit and do things for her! How does that work?

I decided that i would respect her wishes and i would stay away from her and him. And my boo has to keep his distance as well. And i wipe my hands of her. I am over the drama. I have lost all respect and love for her behind this crap. I guess this is what it will be...

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Sister

The world owes you nothing
Your choices were your own
Neglectful thinker.

No foundation for yourself
What you have you did not earn
Living a life of waste.

Lazy and mundane
Girl, better yourself
What will your son think?

When all you have to offer is your ass to kiss
And no one wants to pucker
Will Life's boot suffice?

When all u have to show,
And all you have to offer
Are the same...

Nothing becomes your name
A user to the core
Manipulation will be your folly.

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