Ok so i asked my boo for permission to talk about this next subject and he gave me the greenlight so we are a go!!!!!!! Well i have 2 topics actually lol!
First things first. My boo is having a hard time looking at my provocative photos since the stalker drama, and what I did. Even though I have been forgiven and we have gotten past that, but still he can't bring himself to look at mine. To help I told him to delete the one's he had since there is a negative stigma attached to them. Idk what to do to help him get past the whole situation.
It is going on a month. This is begining to be a serious problem. I'd like to help but I think I've done all that I can do. It's up to him now. I just need to give him space and time. Whether it be another month, a year from now, or never again. I caused this so I have to accept this. However there are times where I wonder if he is facing this issue or avoiding it?
I miss sending them but if he is not comfortable then I am not gonna subject him to that. I think i will just store them away somewhere and get a new memory card so I don't have to look at them either. I definately learned my lesson. I just need to suck it up and be mature about this. So a new memory card will symbolize a fresh start. No more naughty photos either. Gosh... my photo life is gonna be boring! (had to throw a little humor up in here lol) I'm sure i will jazz it up somehow.
Don't y'all judge me readers!
In other news i had this weird dream that made me cry in my sleep. I graduated and got my diploma and i was observing another family. There was a mother, a grandma, and a son. They were chatting me up. I admired the relationship the Grandma had with her grandson b/c it reminded me of how close me and my grandma were. Anyways the ceremony was over and we all walked outside. i was saying goodbye to them and i opened the door for the boy to get in. The mother looked at me and asked was i happy to have graduated. I smiled. I was super happy the whole time but then in the middle of me answering her I looked at the grandma and just started crying and i fell to the ground. I was leaning on the side of her car and I just kept crying while I was holding the diploma. The mother tried to help me up but I was still there crying.
I guess I missed my grandma and the dream triggered something b/c it seemed like a happy time until then. I woke up to me actually crying in my sleep. this isn't the first time that, that has happened to me either. I've cried about my grandma before. I guess I have not fully grieved over her death. It's very sad, and I felt like I knew who i was when she was alive. And now she is gone and I have been left alone. That's probably why I was at that ceremony alone. And what's sad is in my dream I never once wondered where was anybody for me. There were no familiar faces. I am gonna have to look this dream up on dream dictionary. I know I would have had ppl around to see me graduate in real life. i wonder why I dreamed it that way?
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